Chapter 22: President of Drama: When I fuck people over, I scare even myself
Please tell me if you see weird spacings between the paragraphs
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Lu Yan stared at him for a little while, unblinking. Then, a moment later, he raised his lips in a devious smile: “Mornin’, little Jianwei.”
Xie Jianwei: “…”
Should he, in accordance with his character setting, put up a struggle, slap him on the face, and then chase this lecher out of the yard?
But the problem was that he only wanted to continue.
So annoying. He wasn’t even allowed to finish making love.
— For once, Xie Jianwei experienced what the Lord Supreme Commander did when he asked for sex but failed.
However his terrible mood indeed suited the situation pretty well. Although the reason he was unhappy was because the other didn’t enter, Lu Li would definitely think that he was unhappy because he was about to enter.
The means didn’t matter, so long as the result was the same.
Xie Jianwei got into his character in seconds. The confusion in his eyes dispersed, and a spectrum of surprise and horror filled them: “You…what are you doing!”
Lu Yan got up, slowly and methodically putting on his clothes: “I should be the one to ask you that.”
Xie Jianwei franctically tugged at his clothes, but when he covered one side, the other side would be exposed. It made things even messier instead, and it made one want to mess him up even more as well. 
Lu Yan’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down involuntarily. Struggling to stay calm, he said: “I was being considerate and I tried to wake you, but you latched onto my neck and started kissing me.”
Xie Jianwei eyes widened abruptly, disbelief covering his face: “How, how could that be…”
Lu Yan scooted closer to him, and suddenly popped a question: “Did you think I was Lu Li?”
Xie Jianwei: “…” You are Lu Li already; if you weren’t, then forget about kissing, bro you’d already have become a distant star on the horizon.
Lu Yan thought that he’d hit the nail on the head, and continued insidiously: “I hadn’t thought that you had such passionate feelings for your Doctor Lu.” His line of sight moved down, sweeping towards Xie ‘little’ Wei.
His cheeky little gaze stirred Xie Jianwei up, and yet he needed to put on an expression of anger and embarrassment – it was quite tiring.
Lu Yan said: “It’s fine, I don’t mind, he and I look very alike anyways.”
Xie Jianwei immediately said: “You and Doctor Lu don’t look alike at all!”
Lu Yan said with a smile: “If we don’t look a like, they why kiss me? Could it be that you want me to do that sort of thing with you?”
Xie Jianwei almost blurted out a ‘yes’.
Luckily, he held back. Xie Jianwei worked very hard to make himself calm down: “Rubbish – I didn’t – I didn’t think of…”
“Okay okay,” Lu Yan pacified him, “It’s not like it’s anything serious, you and Lu Li have been together for over a year already, and yet you’re still like a virgin…”
He hadn’t finished speaking before Xie Jianwei said, with his face and ears bright red: “There’s nothing of the sort between Doctor Lu and I.”
Lu Yan visibly paused: “Ah?”
Xie Jianwei said: “Doctor Lu wouldn’t be so annoying like you!”
“Annoying?” Lu Yan was unable to stifle his laugh: “What I did just then was very annoying?”
Xie Jianwei said assuredly: “Very annoying, you’re just generally a very annoying person!”
Lu Yan looked as if he had found something new and interesting. He stared at Xie Jianwei for a moment, and somewhat disbelievingly said: “Lu Li doesn’t hug you?”
Xie Jianwei was blushing with shame at his own faked ignorance: “Of course he’s hugged me.”
Lu Yan: “…”
Xie Jianwei faltered, “He hugs me when we sleep every night.”
Lu Yan: “And then?”
Xie Jianwei: “And then what?”
Xie Jianwei didn’t reply.
Lu Yan asked again: “He just sleeps while hugging you?”
Xie Jianwei put on an angry façade and said: “What else!”
A peculiar expression revealed itself on Lu Yan’s features: “Lu Li…is truly a saint  ah.” Despite calling him a saint, the tone of his voice made it sound more like he was calling him an idiot.
Xie Jianwei thought inwardly: You too, have quite the talent, calling yourself an idiot.
Xie Jianwei’s acting was beautiful and flawless, entirely enough to fool Lu Li No. 2.
Lu Yan actually believed it. He believed that Lu Li had indeed hidden his lover away in the abode for over a year, and yet still hadn’t eaten the pretty little birdy.
His mind spun – things were getting more interesting, he thought.
If Lu Li wasn’t going to eat, then he couldn’t blame him, his elder brother, for not holding back.
Xie Jianwei took advantage of the opportunity to put his clothes on properly, and said; “What did you come here again for?”
At his words, Lu Yan said innocently: “I’m doing this all for you aren’t I?”
Like fuck Xie Jianwei believed him.
Lu Yan reached out a hand, and gave him today’s little gift: “This one’s a Sabayon, flown over from Italy this morning.”
Xie Jianwei wasn’t, in fact, a sweet tooth – but he did like eating sweets, especially if they were tasty.
The Sabayon was a desert as big as one’s palm; its recipe was quite delicate, and the most unique part about it was that it combined the inherent fragrance of both wine and eggs. In addition, with the aroma from being burnt to just the right degree, it practically couldn’t get tastier.
Lu Yan put the cake on the table and said: “Give it a taste, if you like it I’ll bring some more tomorrow.”
Xie Jianwei wasn’t polite with him anymore either. Such an ancient food – it’d be a waste if he didn’t eat it. After all, some cooking methods and original ingredients had long since been lost, and the patissiers in the galactic era almost existed only for decoration purposes.
After feeding the cake to him, Lu Yan deliberately sat by his side, and was a little touchy too with his unruly limbs.
Xie Jianwei pretended that he didn’t notice at all, and he even subtly created more openings for him.
Lu Yan’s brain as full of wicked ideas. When the surveillance device was opened today, what he showed Xie Jianwei wasn’t Lu Li.
Poor Xie JIanwei thought that he was going to see Doctor Lu, so he had anticipation written all over his face. He didn’t even dare to blink his eyes, and thus, the live-action porno smeared him right across the face.
“This…this…” Xie Jianwei was wide-eyed and slack-jawed.
On the screen were two men, one on top and one of the bottom, their movements very much heated.
Lu Yan even ‘tsked’: “This one’s actually the one that’s taken on the responsibility for upholding the film industry’s reputation in recent years. Pity that even the skin isn’t as soft as yours.”
Xie Jianwei came back to himself, and exclaimed: “What is the meaning of this?”
Lu Yan said: “Don’t fret, maybe it’s an error in the signal transmission.”
Xie Jianwei’s face was flushed: “You…You…really are…”
Lu Yan said: “There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s all human nature. It’d be stranger for two people who liked each other to not do it.”
Xie Jianwei was speechless.
Lu Yan closed the screen, and looked at Xie JIanwei: “You like Lu Li right?”
Xie Jianwei replied: “Of course I like him.”
Lu Yan asked him again: “Then does Lu Li like you?”
Xie Jianwei paused for a moment, but still very quickly said: “He does!”
Lu Yan: “Does he really?”
Xie Jianwei put on a strong front, and said: “Doctor Lu definitely likes me!”
Lu Yan laughed, then said: “If he really likes you, then why hasn’t he made love with you?”
Xie Jianwei practically knew the script for the following scenes like the back of his hand; he cooperatively said: “It has nothing to do with you.”
With the air of a knowing elder brother, Lu Yan gravely helped him conduct an analysis: “You see, you’re young so you don’t understand these matters, but Lu Li definitely understands; if he truly likes you, then he would have long since done these intimate things with you.”
Xie Jianwei bit his lower lip, wanting to deny it and yet not knowing where to start denying it from.
Lu Yan wanted to lure him into the ditch: “It’s fine if you don’t believe me. You can try it for yourself tonight.”
Xie Jianwei looked at him: “Try what?”
Lu Yan said: “You like Lu Li, so you need to make your feelings straight right, you should be more proactive. See if he’ll make love with you or not.”
Xie Jianwei paused.
Lu Yan tempted him with: “If Doctor Lu does it with you, then you can rest easy, it means that you like each other. People who like each other will be together forever and ever.”
Obviously, Lu Li number 2 had also done his homework. He knew of ‘Xie Jianwei’s’ psychological insecurities, and so had emphasised his words, repeating ‘forever’ twice.
Xie Jianwei was swayed.
Lu Yan stopped once his goal had been reached; having made Xie Jianwei thoughts start to run, he left early.
Xie Jianwei could basically predict the traps that were laid out afterwards, and so he needed to make some preparations beforehand.
Seducing Lu Li was very easy – what he feared was not being able to hold back, himself.
He had after all kept it inside for so long. He worried that he would go over the top with his seductions, hence not conforming to the character setting of a youth who ‘didn’t know the ways of the world’.
As to how he would prepare? Naturally, letting the fire out would be for the best.
Xie Jianwei couldn’t do it in the dream, but he could go back to reality.
Yan Ke blinked: “My Lord, how come you’re back?”
Xie Jianwei said: “Let’s stop the treatment temporarily. Lu Li can’t sleep here forever either; there’s still a lot of things that need to be dealt with.”
Yan Ke obeyed of course, saying: “Okay.”
The magnetic field paused, and Xie Jianwei arranged for people to take Lu Li back to the Supreme Commander’s estate.
When Lu Li woke up, he was somewhat dazed: “I feel like I’ve slept for a long while.”
Xie Jianwei spoke without a change in expression: “How so? It’s was only a short afternoon nap.”
Lu Li was missing a large chunk of his memories, but he definitely wouldn’t dare show it.
Xie Jianwei knew this too, and so blatantly messed with him.
After all, Lu Li was the one who, to this day, still refused to tell him that he and his multiple personalities’ memories were no longer coherent.
In order to pretend that they were, even if Lu Li didn’t have the memories, he needed to act as if he did.
Adding onto that the fact that he and his personalities had all started trying to kill each other, they definitely wouldn’t work together – even air was unable to pass between them. So of course he had no way of knowing about it.
Xie Jianwei used this, and easily brushed past the whole treatment thing.
Lu Li rubbed at his temples, then said: “I’m going to the S.S. Commander.”
Xie Jianwei said: “Didn’t we already agree?”
Lu Li paused.
Xie Jianwei looked at him, asking: “Didn’t you say that you weren’t going out for the afternoon, to stay at home with me?”
Lu Li didn’t know which asshole personality had said it, but he was worried that Xie Jianwei would detect something, and so could only say: “I’m not going out anymore. Got muddled from sleep.”
Xie Jianwei smiled, and directly seated himself across on his legs, looping his arms around his neck, letting their noses touch: “Little Li.”
He purposefully pushed his voice lower. The tenor, already beautiful, was as soft and as light as clouds at that moment.
Lu Li’s lips curved upwards, and his palm supported his butt. He asked lowly: “You want it?”
Xie Jianwei, for once, took the initiative and kissed him.
The Lord Supreme Commander felt overwhelmed with the unexpected affection, and ate a long-anticipated ‘navel orange’, the sweetness making him all happy from head to toe. [t/n: euphemism for cowgirl style. Or in this case, cowboy. See notes for further explanation.]
Xie Jianwei had held it in in the dreamland for so long, and at long last, he got what he desired in reality.
He had always complained about how Lu Li couldn’t get enough before, but the days were pretty hard too when all of a sudden he no longer wanted it.
But absence makes the heart grow fonder, and not having done it for a period of time, suddenly going for a round, was really refreshing.
Xie Jianwei was happy, but Lu Li on the other hand tried reaching for a mile after getting an inch, and after he finished the first time he wanted to go for a second time too.
However, Xie Jianwei didn’t dare to continue. The treatment hadn’t finished yet, and if he didn’t go back for a long period of time, changes would happen within the dream, and all his hard work for so long would have been for nought.
Having no other option, Xie Jianwei used his killer move, and made the utterly defenceless Lord Supreme Commander faint.
Returning to the dreamscape, Xie Jianwei felt refreshed all over, and believed that he could flawlessly act out the character of a pure and unaffected youth, one who didn’t know what temptation was.
Lu Li came back right on time, and things proceeded as usual.
It was only right before bedtime, when Xie Jianwei did something before he walked out of the bathroom.
He messed with the hair-dryer, and made the hair-dryer go on strike. It refused to let out air even if you beat it to death.
With a head of wet hair Xie Jianwei walked out and said: “Doctor Lu, the hair-dryer broke.”
Lu Li was packing up books, and when he heard his voice he lifted his head and looked over.
Xie Jianwei was wearing a thin shirt – one that absorbed a lot of water at that. Water that dripped down from the hair could basically make a trail on the shirt instantly.
Xie Jianwei didn’t even dry his hair with a cloth, coming out dripping with water. His shirt was half drenched, and his thin shoulders, as well as the front of his chest, was all wet.
The final blow was that the water was still dripping, gliding across his chest, rolling down his body to his navel.
Lu Li stared at him, and felt waves of dry thirst in his throat.
Xie Jianwei called out to him: “Doctor Lu?”
Lu Li lurched back to his senses, speaking: “The hair-dryer broke?”
Xie Jianwei said: “Yeah, it won’t blow no matter what.”
There was no backup at home, so Lu Li could only say: “Come here, I’ll dry your hair for you.”
Xie Jianwei happily took the towel and went in front of him: “Then I must trouble Doctor Lu.”
Lu Li laughed, and signalled for him to sit by his side.
Xie Jianwei lowered his head so that Lu Li would have find it easier to dry, but the position unexpectedly exposed the back of his pale neck.
The glow of it was akin to jade, and the water droplets were like gemstones. Lu Li felt even thirstier. But he did not want to drink water – he wanted to taste this skin.
As Lu Li dried his hair, his whole body felt arid and hot.
He finished the arduous task of drying it, and Lu Li was just about to let out a breath of air when Xie Jianwei again said: “The clothes are all wet.”
Lu Li’s line of sight conspicuously floated to his chest.
Xie Jianwei purposefully tugged at his collar, and said: “It’s too uncomfortable. I need to change.”
As he spoke, he straight up undid the buttons, and while Lu Li didn’t have time to stop him, he took the all of the clothes off.
The youth’s body appeared abruptly before him, and the Lu Li’s part that had already slightly reared its head, was instantly painfully swollen.
Xie Jianwei wasn’t aware at all, turning to the closet to find pyjamas.
His back was facing Lu Li, and because he was rummaging around, his thin waist swayed back and forth. And because the pants were somewhat big, it appeared as if they would fall of with just a bit more swaying.
What made Lu Li’s breathing quicken even more was that Xie Jianwei wasn’t wearing underwear.
It only needed a slight downwards tug, and that pretty behind would…
It was as if Lu Li’s mind had been drenched in petroleum by someone, and it instantly ignited, becoming a sea of fire.
Xie Jianwei searched for a while, before resigning himself: “I think we didn’t dry it after washing. It should still be hung outside.”
Lu Li couldn’t hear what he was saying at all.
Xie Jianwei said again: “Doctor Lu, can I wear your clothes?”
Lu Li: “…”
Xie Jianwei didn’t wait for his reply, and had already taken out one of Lu Li’s pyjamas, wearing it over his body.
The pyjama was black. Xie Jianwei didn’t own such darkly coloured clothes basically, but when he wore it, it was surprisingly tantalising. The white of his skin and the black of the shirt formed a clear contrast, and one didn’t dare take a second glance.
Xie Jianwei tugged at it, then said: “It’s so long, I don’t even need pants now.”
He was only saying it casually, but Lu Li mind instantly filled the gaps with images of Xie Jianwei wearing only his shirt…
“I’ll…go take a cold shower.” Big Doctor Lu was wholly fleeing in defeat.
Xie Jianwei raised his lips in smile, and thought inwardly: Things have only just begun.
Lu LI finished his cold shower and came back. Xie Jianwei went along and snuggled into his arms.
The time Lu Li took for his shower had been rather long. He probably hadn’t only showered; 9 out of ten, he’d also had a go.
Thinking about it slightly like so, made Xie Jianwei’s heart felt somewhat tickled.
His Lu Li; how could he be so funny?
Xie Jianwei shifted a little in his embrace, and only after a little while did he ask in a small voice: “Doctor Lu?”
Lu Li’s voice was very low: “En?”
Xie Jianwei said: “I can’t sleep.”
Lu LI’s chin was rested against the top of his head: “What’s wrong?”
XIe Jianwei disobediently touched his navel, saying: “I’m hot.”
Lu Li: “…”
Xie Jianwei thought that he didn’t hear him, and so spoke again: “Very hot.”
Lu Li let go of him slightly, and the flushed face of the youth entered his vision. His eyes were glistening, his red lips trembling minutely, as if they were a sweet fruit, waiting to be plucked.
Something roared in Lu Li’s mind.
Xie Jianwei touched his hand: “Can…Can you help me?”
Lu Li felt his part that had stiffened.
Xie Jianwei bit his lower lip, and said, somewhat uncomfortably: “I don’t know how I should do it.”
Lu Li took a deep breath, his palm delving inside.
Xie Jianwei’s body was super sensitive, and Lu Li’s palm was so hot too, so it didn’t take much before he shot.
Lu Li helped him clean up, then went to wash his hands as well. Then he patted his back, saying: “Sleep.”
But Xie Jianwei said softly: “Doctor Lu…”
Lu Li’s logical thought was continuously being gnawed at: “En?”
Xie Jianwei tilted his head, looking up at him: “Let’s do it.”
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The author has something to say: Aaahh last chapter I was being an idiot! The mistake with the cherry blossom tree and the cherry tree has been fixed, thanks for the little angels’ reminders, muah!
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The author is very cute hehehe. Also just realised that I didn’t link the next chapters from chapter 20 onwards oops. If all goes well the next (half) chapter will be up tomorrow same time ish! (Hopefully earlier though I need sleep) Stay tuned~
 Technically ‘mess with him’ was supposed to be ‘do him’ but there was a play on words in the raws and I didn’t want to lose that.
 情圣 – basically a saint when it comes to matters of love – but also kinda an idiot. An example I found on Baidu was a hypothetical scenario: two people are married, one of them is stolen away by someone else, and yet the other willingly lets them go. Another usage for the term is someone who is god-level good at the game of love.
 脐橙: navel orange – aka cowgirl position – this one’s appeared before. In normal chinese the original word is pronounced ‘qi cheng’ which sounds exactly the same as ‘navel orange’. No one understood it so the author had to explain it in later chapters – I’ll include her in-chapter note.